By the Pricking of My Thumbs ...

... something Whisky this way comes ...

Portland chooses ... Greg Oden!

DING!

Search Engine Q & A

It's Friday. I'm procrastinating. That can only mean one thing: time to respond to phooeyhoo.com search engine searchers.

IP Address: 67.175.163.103
Search String: Fucking pah-wraiths!
Phooeyhoo's Response: Yes, those pah-wraiths are very annoying with their pahing and their wraithing. And poor Louise Fletcher. One minute she's giving injections to crazy people and the next she has to wear a really ugly yellow hat. Anyway, I wonder who reads my blog and has an aversion to the pah-wraiths. Hmm, can't think of anyone.

IP Address: 128.252.163.92
Search String: monitor
Phooeyhoo's Response: This could mean many things but perhaps you refer to the town of Monitor from Serpent Isle where everyone from the mayor to the town crier was a knight. Great game. I wonder if it can be ported to the iPod touch. (Everything I've thought about in the last two days is really just a veiled justification to buy an iPod touch.) Everything would be perfect except for that miniature 16 GB hard drive. Argh! Why do you taunt me Apple?!?

IP Address: 64.72.64.225, 67.49.7.252, 125.160.200.189, 70.176.44.96, 24.11.177.94, 79.66.42.22, 86.33.247.229, 201.223.118.190
Search String: Princess Maker, princess maker download, princess maker 2, princess
Phooeyhoo's Response: Still by far the most popular search phrase on phooeyhoo.com.

IP Address: 201.17.223.52
Search String: game
Phooeyhoo's Response: Games are fun. Hooray for games! Hooray for Zoidberg!

IP Address: 12.206.118.245
Search String: scams
Phooeyhoo's Response: The biggest scam of all time has to be Ultima IX. Either that or Daikatana.

IP Address: 24.15.16.213, 162.83.142.161
Search String: hannah major monfried, hannah major
Phooeyhoo's Response: I realize that every time I address this it will just shoot up the relevance of this search term. For the last time: I don't know! Call the U of C alumni office.

IP Address: 128.252.163.92
Search String: grace
Phooeyhoo's Response: Last I heard there is a 1% chance that Mark Grace will come and work for the Cubs.

IP Address: 128.252.163.92
Search String: volcano
Phooeyhoo's Response: The volcano blasts / Showing power and greatness / As the fish jumps scared

IP Address: 67.175.163.103
Search String: Is your search thing working today?
Phooeyhoo's Response: I hope so. Also, searching twice within a 30 second period doesn't change the results.

IP Address: 67.175.163.103
Search String: I guess so.
Phooeyhoo's Response: Nice!

IP Address: 67.175.163.103
Search String: Kenny, did I not serve thee well upon the Isle of Fire?
Phooeyhoo's Response: No, you really didn't. As I recall, it was you and Iolo who made a beeline for the taco stand while Dupre, Shamino, and I were worrying about dragons.

IP Address: 67.175.163.103
Search String: Avatar! You think you have won?
Phooeyhoo's Response: Well, at the very least it was a draw. When's the tiebreak?

IP Address: 67.175.163.103
Search String: Think again! You are unable to leave Britannia, whereas I am free to enter other worlds.
Phooeyhoo's Response: I would stay way from from those dimensions of pain.

IP Address: 67.175.163.103
Search String: Mmh. . . . Perhaps your puny Earth shall be my next target! Hahahahaha!
Phooeyhoo's Response: Go for it. There's very little here worthy of saving anyway. Except perhaps for moray eels. They're pretty cool.

IP Address: 67.175.163.103
Search String: Nystul sends his best, Avatar.
Phooeyhoo's Response: Nystul was never really that helpful. In Ultima VI he just sat next to Lord British telling you to return some moldy old volume from the Lyceum. Then in Ultima VII he robbed you of your reagents and muttered incoherent things until you restored the ether.

IP Address: 67.175.163.103
Search String: Hero from Another World -- know that it is I, the Great Earth Serpent, whom thou liberated from imprisonment in the days of Exodus the Destroyer.
Phooeyhoo's Response: It's too bad that because of EA they had to kill everybody off in Moonshade instead of giving them post-apocalyptic roles as indicated in the usecode. It would have been fun to beat up on Fedabiblio or whatever the magelord's name was and run off with Frigidazzi.

IP Address: 67.175.163.103
Search String: Did you know that if you Google 'Nicole J. Howard,' you get a bunch of hits for Anna Nicole Smith and her late husband J. Howard Marshall?
Phooeyhoo's Response: I did not. Thanks for brining this to my attention. By the by Dev ... woops, I mean 67.175.163.103, did you know that you can just send me an email or call me if you want to chat?

IP Address: 24.11.177.94, 79.66.42.22
Search String: dating game, true love
Phooeyhoo's Response: I don't know what you're talking about. The good God-fearing staff of phooeyhoo.com does not review Godless true love dating games.

IP Address: 68.165.153.34
Search String: Name! Job! Bye!
Phooeyhoo's Response: Phooeyhoo. Responder to search engine queries. See ya!

IP Address: 70.237.141.244, 66.57.87.204
Search String: cyndi
Phooeyhoo's Response: Cyndi Lopa? Good question. Where's that WENCH?!

IP Address: 189.24.167.20
Search String: flogão
Phooeyhoo's Response: This was a Flog search but it's too good to pass up listing. Is that flog in some archaic language?

IP Address: 69.245.195.56
Search String: video games
Phooeyhoo's Response: See comment to games above.

IP Address: 67.175.163.103
Search String: Dammit, where the hell is Hannah Major-Monfried?
Phooeyhoo's Response: For the last friggin' time: I have absolutely no idea! Ask the Chicago Maroon!

IP Address: 67.175.163.103
Search String: I know she's here somewhere!
Phooeyhoo's Response: That may very well be the case. It depends on your epistomological belief in reality.

IP Address: 208.114.144.43
Search String: petibom
Phooeyhoo's Response: Yes, she is fab.

IP Address: 24.211.237.141
Search String: midnight, street, sad, sign
Phooeyhoo's Response: Hmm ... tough to get what you're looking for. A sad street sign at midnight. Nope, haven't seen one of those in a while.

IP Address: 67.175.163.103
Search String: Why come you only take one picture in 2007?
Phooeyhoo's Response: 67.175.163.103 gets the award for most searchers. I wonder who you could be? But, yes, I do need to post my 2007 pictures.

IP Address: 67.175.163.103
Search String: I just realized, if I actually needed to search for something at some point, that would probably really confuse you.
Phooeyhoo's Response: True. If you did it from the same IP I probably would be very confused. I would also be very confused if you sent me an email with your search term.

New Rilo Kiley Album!

Why didn't anybody tell me? Only found out because I was looking for the album art to their self-named first album. Oh, well. Listening to it now. So far so good. As long as Blake doesn't decide to sing, I think we'll be in like Flynn.

Update: Hmm, songs 2 - 5 are a no go. Indeed, song 4 sounds like it came from a That 70's Show soundtrack. Ding! The title song (6) seems okay, though. I think I was spoiled by Jenny Lewis's solo effort. Either that or I just prefer old school Rilo Kiley. 3 of the last 4 songs on the album are old-school Rilo Kiley and are okay. The Angels Hung Around is my favorite so far. Entire album only weighs in at 37 minutes. A pre-breakup album perhaps? Well, hopefully after a few more spins it will be, as the New York Times says, "a pleasant surprise disguised as an unpleasant one."

That's A-Moray

I was awoken by a big news morning on NPR. First, the death of ol' Pavarotti. Craig says that his Idomeneo was one of the best. I think that he came to Portland once for an opera singing contest for amateurs where contestants wandered upstage to be criticized by the master. I think a restaurant like this would be a good companion for Dipthongs. (For those of you who don't know, Flog came up with the idea for a restaurant where drunk patrons would wander up on open-mic-night, speak French, and be critiqued by Craig: "No! Drop that unstable e!")

I usually don't bat an eyelash when it comes to nature, but the NPR story on the moray eel was quite fascinating. With the use of high-speed cameras, a postdoc at UC-Davis discovered that the moray's second set of jaws reach out from its throat to grab a victim down its throat, Alien style. Neat! You can watch the video on this page. Also, listen to the full NPR story and pay particular attention to the song sung at the end. Only one question remains: what would moray eel unagi taste like?