Holy Shit

Recipes from Around the Web

Well, actually, just one web site. It looks like my old friend Mr. Bills has been posting photos up on a semi-updated photo web log without telling anybody.

Amongst the prose is a recipe for an avocado-mango type dip:

What a delicious appetizer! So delicious that I will share the recipe: Take one avocado that has been in your cupboard for a least a week. It ought to be ripe, shouldn't it? It's been there long enough. Never mind that it is still hard. Cut it open. Find by taste and the look of it that it is in fact not ripe and not as delicious as an avocado should be. Consider throwing it away, but reject that idea as wasteful. Peel it. Try mashing it to make guacamole as planned. Find that it is too hard to mash. Hmmm, how to make it softer? Microwave it with some water for 1:30! Then drain it and mash it. Taste it. Not great, but edible. Add some salt. What could make it better? Nothing other than sweet, sweet mango sauce from your nearest Trader Joe's. Mmm, now it is good. Serve with tortilla chips and sausage (recipe follows).

Hmm ... seems a lot like Corn à la Noah without the throwing away part in the end mixed with Phil's experimentation technique for making peanut dipping sauce. Does all of this cooking talk make me want to dust off my computer and finish writing Whisking with Chlamydia? No, not really.

Memo to Phooeyhoo Searchers Redux

IP Address: 72.131.28.45
Search String: wilson high school
Phooeyhoo's Response: Yes, I went to high school there. No, I haven't written anything about it in the past. No, I don't plan to write anything about it in the future.

IP Address: 72.131.28.45
Search Strings: surprise.pdf, surprise, alison clark, allison clark, allison clark
Phooeyhoo's Response: As to your first query ... I don't think I've ever written any papers on surprises even though we all know that the element of it is the secret to war. Or perhaps you were looking for an official phooeyhoo.com review of the Paul Simon album? I actually didn't care very much for it. Does that count as a review? As for your second query I know even less about Al(l)ison Clark than I do about Hannah Major-Monfried no matter how many l's that you spell it with. Also, please make a note of my comment to Phooeyhoo reader 209.175.47.162: "Searching twice within a 12 second interval isn't likely to produce any results."

IP Addresses: 70.237.202.241, 75.72.122.68, 75.72.122.68, 202.74.203.149
Search Strings: princess maker 2, princess maker 1 (3x), princess maker, pm2
Phooeyhoo's Response: I assume you found what you were looking for. Perhaps I should just change the name of this website to the Princess Maker 2 Hub. Sadly, I have no idea where to get a translation of Princess Maker 1. Of course, by the basic laws of mathematics, Princess Maker 2 should be twice as good as Princess Maker 1 just as The Godfather 3 was 3 times as good as The Godfather. Once again, please see comment to 72.131.28.45.

IP Address: 70.230.185.72
Search String: warcraft
Phooeyhoo's Response: No, I don't play the World of Warcraft. I used to play Warcraft 3 with David TBD Moore. We thought we were pretty good until we started getting creamed by level 25 guys who knew how to counter duel Death Knights and Liches. Also, this is probably one of the funniest Warcraft inspired comics.

IP Address: 70.230.189.207
Search Strings: games, gaming
Phooeyhoo's Response: Sadly, I really don't game anymore. The last game I really played start to finish was Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion last year. Since then there has only been a hilarious Civ 4 session inundated with now classic quotations such as: "My worker has been jerking off in the woods for the last 300 years!", "What are you Doing?", "Where's Benedict Arnold?!?" (The reply to which was, "Oh, it's just southeast of The Bushes and north of Fake Handshake!"), "Kenny, what steps are being taken to protect Saint Germaine?!?" (The reply to which was a nervous laugh, a quick look to see that Saint Germaine had only one axeman to protect against 6 oncoming knights with no reinforcements coming, and then: "Well, funny you should ask ..."), and (via our computer companion Montezuma) "Sir Gabby is the bomb!!!"

IP Address: 200.114.140.90
Search Strings: girls, girls
Phooeyhoo's Response: Looks like this search was done on our sister site Flog. But I'll take a shot anyway despite not being sure of the context. As far as I know, Flog is not a pornsite (despite the name) and if you're referring to how Dave referred to his archers from Warcraft 3 then, no, building all archers is not a viable strategy for victory. Also, see comment above to 72.131.28.45.

IP Address: 190.21.66.112
Search String: t shitrs, t shitrs
Phooeyhoo's Response: Another Flog search. Nope, no idea here. Yeah, and see the thing about multiple searches. Really.

IP Address: 85.139.160.64
Search String: gato fedorento
Phooeyhoo's Response: Nope, sorry. No idea.

IP Address: 68.22.79.171
Search String: dogs (4x)
Phooeyhoo's Response: Since you're searching Flog I assume that you found multiple articles on pooping and farting dogs. Congrats! Not sure why you had to search four times but, heh, to each their own.

IP Address: 70.237.209.5
Search Strings: the pumpkin, excited
Phooeyhoo's Response: Ah, yes. The classic movie that nobody wants to admit being part of. Especially if your name begins with an "E" and ends in "ric." I guess that's kind of exciting if you think about it really hard and are drunk off of Guinness trying to make sense out of Finnegans Wake.

IP Address: 69.110.22.116
Search String: "Horse, god, cheesecake", Alton Brown's foibles, Irish potato, sweaty goat balls
Phooeyhoo's Response: Like Phillip J. Fry, I have been known to pray to the Horse God for favors. However, I prefer cherry cheesecake to horse cheesecake, god cheesecake, Irish potato cheesecake, and sweaty goat balls cheesecake. Sadly, Alton Brown has never prepared cheesecake for me but if you know of any Alton Brown foibles, feel free to submit.

IP Address: 70.230.180.158
Search Strings: monitor
Phooeyhoo's Response: Ah, yes. The town of Monitor from Ultima 7 Part 2: Serpent Isle. Wasn't there some bar wench that would sleep with you after you became a knight even though she was also doing the mayor and his assistant?

Well, you read it and you can't un-read it. That's all for this quarter's edition. Check back in 3 months when we'll have more responses to Phooeyhoo search engine users. Will people keep searching multiple times for the same thing? Will another person wander in here thinking that I have clandestine information about Hannah Major Monfried? How many more searchers will Princess Maker 2 get? Shun, tun, tun.

Ostrich Egg!

A recent conversation on Welcome to Blog about cartoon characters gracing sushi restaurants quickly degenerated. 88 comments later diverse topics such as characteristics to avoid in sushi restaurants, where pulled sushi goes, hate speaking, the lengths procrastinating graduate students will go to to avoid doing work, the craziest thing you've ever eaten, duck eggs, nachos, ostrich eggs, and disgusting euphemisms for sex had been broached.

Among the many consensuses reached, it was decided that having a video of Julia and Jacques scrambling an ostrich egg would make this web log less worthless.

If the above WMV file doesn't play for you I have also put it on the YouTube.

Finn, again! Finn, again! Finn, again!

As this is the last weekend before final papers are due, get set for a deluge of worthless posts as I attempt to not do work.

First off: HUGE pictures of sushi.

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