Will We Ever Win Again?
Doesn't loook good. Hmm, let's analyze ....
New York - Hmm ... will Telfair rise to the occasion against Marbury? Probably not.
Washington - They've been playing well and no one's had an answer for Arenas in the last two weeks. Loss.
Houston - Arguably the hottest team since the break. McGrady is finally scoring and operating well with Yao. They finally have some Jeff Van Gundy roll players. No chance for the Blazers.
At Seattle - Blazers lost tonight despite an injured Lewis. At Seattle you say? Loss.
Denver - Hmm ... one team is headed for the playoffs with a new coach. The other is headed for the lottery with an interim coach. Guess which witch is which!
At Utah - Now here's an interesting one. If it were in Portland I might give them a chance. It all comes down to who wants it less. I'm going to have to go with Utah on this one.
Golden State - I know nothing about Golden State except that they suck. Perhaps even more than the Blazers do. Blazers win this one by a hair!
Sacramento - Hmmm ... no Chris Webber but ... wait. Who am I kidding? No chance.
At New Orleans - I would have gone with the Blazers but I have the feeling that Dickau is going to torch us again for 30. I'm going with the Big Easy.
At San Antonio - DING!
Dallas - Nope. Try again.
At Golden State - Golden State's {insert Golden State player here} will get aberrantly hot. Blazers lose by a hair.
Utah - Jerry Sloan thinks that he's still running the Stockton and Malone offense but instead runs it with Carlos Boozer and himself. Before the referees can decide that Jerry Sloan can't play, the Blazers have lost yet again.
At Denver - George Karl suffocates and collapses during the first quarter. By the time he recovers his team is up by 30 and he can save the inevitable lectures and cussing at his team via the media for next season's implosion.
Los Angeles Lakers - Oh, I'd love to see Kobe lose and choke it at the Garden for once. They'll be out of the playoff picture by then but still ... I don't see it happening.
Well, my final analysis puts the Blazers at 1-14 the rest of the way for a final record of 24-58. Should be good for a 4 or 5 lottery pick. Too bad there's no LeBron James this year. Oh, well. Maybe we can choose Sam Bowie instead. (DING!)
In case you're wondering about the DING! — it's from this gem as heard on Cheap Seats.
Posted by phooeyhoo at
2:47 AM
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