Last Post 'Til After Turkey Day

It's 4:34 PM. I just spent the last three hours in 80s nostalgia heaven, i.e. X-Entertainment. The President, CFO, Controller, and Director of Administration are all gone. Hell, even the assistant janitor on Wednesday night is playing with his dog. Why the fuck am I still at work?

Hope that all three of my readers out there have an enjoyable turkey weekend. And Dave, whatever you do, don't let Grandma Jean near the desserts until everyone has had their fair stab at it.

I would be doing the world a discourtesy by not mentioning that Blog is attempting 11 posts before this day is over. It's currently 4:26 CST and he only has 3 up. Will he make it? I know you, like myself, will be tuning in regularly to see if he makes it or if he succumbs to the dreaded all nighter syndrome where post numbers 9 - 11 will be nothing but links to Richard Simmons videos. Stay tuned to Blog!

Run For The Hills

SUV strollers. They actually exist. Phooeyhoo thought they were an LPTrixie joke. Today, he encountered one. As this post suggests, run, don't walk, for the hills!

You thought SUVs were bad — tearing up roads and intimidating those of use who drive little Honda Civics. SUV strollers are worst. At least SUVs have to conform somewhat and fit into a lane. SUV strollers don't. Let me tell you, the sidewalks in downtown Chicago are pretty huge. They don't stand a chance against this thing. And the same mentality of driving an SUV on the road seems to permeate the SUV stroller as well. Pedestrians, midgets, and small birds are but another obstacle to the SUV stroller. Don't trust me? Look at this:

.

Who the fuck needs all that stuff?!? Hell, if you need all that storage space to pack your kids' goods, you're better off leaving the little motherfuckers at home. What's wrong with the people in this country? The baby backpack was bad enough. But now this? Wasn't there a time when people cared enough about their babies that they didn't tuck them away into backpacks and oversized strollers while they ordered their triple mocha soy bean espressos? Wasn't there a time when people took their kids out for the sake of taking their kids out? What the hell happened here?

Did I mention the price? How much, how much, I ask you — would you expect to pay for one of these beauts? $100? $200? Try $500. Yes, $500. Slowly absorb that number. For the same amount of money as a low-end laptop, you too, could have an SUV stroller. Isn't there somebody's house that we can start bombing to make these abominations go away?

In Memorium

It is with great sadness that we point you towards Blog's latest post. Those of you who didn't grow up around downtown Portland may not think much of it, but the Psycho Safeway, as Blog references it, has a special place in the hearts of all true blue Portlanders.

I'm not sure of the exact moment when I first set foot within its hallowed walls but over the years the place has become legendary with memories.

This is where I used to go with my mother when we lived in an indigent studio apartment, where I bought the cheapest and worst tasting cigars imaginable to mankind, and, most memorably, where I staggered in drunk at 3 in the morning and bought 4 pieces of cold God awful chicken, a bag of kettle chips, and a week old chicken Caesar salad. It was a place unlike any other in Portland. The only store I know of where you could probably walk in with your bathrobe and a five foot whisk and nobody would even give you a glance — it was that normal. (Try doing that at a place like the QFC.)

Fuck those yuppies and their ostentatious new Safeway. We liked those ragged old men and drunks running around. It lent the place character. They were family. Hell, I used to be one of them! (Some would argue that I still am.) Like those Brooklyn fans that boycotted the Dodgers when they left for Los Angeles, so shall I never set foot into the new Safeway across the street from my old beloved friend. Ebbots Field it wasn't. But memorable? Oh, yes it was. Yes it was. To quote from Mozart's Requiem Mass:

Rex tremendae majestatis,
qui salvandos savas gratis,
salve me, fons pietatis.

King of tremendous majesty,
who freely saves those worthy ones,
save me, source of mercy.

Old Friends or Old Farts?

In the early 1950s two Jewish kids, a short Elvis impersonator and a tall cherub voiced choir boy, collaborated on the little remembered song Hey Schoolgirl in which they sang about teenage lust. Fifty years later the two are singing the same song in packed venues throughout the country. Somehow, the song doesn't seem too relevant this time around. Two 63 year old men singing about the girl in the second row? Shouldn't they be getting their social security information in order?

Surprisingly enough it was my dad who hooked me on the tunes of the duo from Queens. How songs from New York could traverse the ocean and arrive in the Far East were as mysterious to me as tenant halls and neon Gods. All I knew was that I loved the way that their voices sounded together. Trying to impersonate this sound led to the discovery that I was tone deaf along with a brief and unsuccessful battle with the violin. The guitar was never taken up because I watched my uncle study for years and the only thing I ever heard him play was When the Saints Go Marching In.

Flash forward to 2003 and upon hearing that my favorite dynamic duo was putting aside differences and reuniting for a tour, I was pleasantly surprised. So how was the show you asked? Did they really rock out like it was 1960 all over again? Hell if I should know. You'll have to read the reviews for yourself!

So my question to you is how much would you shell out to hear two over-the-hill rockers partially rock? My initial thought was about $60 or so. I had paid that much to hear Paul Simon solo a few years back. I usually shell out $20 or so for a CSO show and the most I've spent on live entertainment is $75 at the Lyric. So online I went only to find . . . $100 for the upper balcony at the United Center? Screw that! I'll just dig up my old vinyl and avoid the crowds of balding baby boomers.

The next day I read in the papers that the two are just glad to be singing again and this time it's not about the money but, rather, about the music and the sharing of the music. Jesus Christ! If ticket prices ranging from $70 - $200 is just about the sharing of music then I'd hate to think what it would be like if it wasn't about the music! Okay, all of you who have experienced the sticker shock of reunion bands are most likely laughing at my ingenuousness. I learned that the next day when our CFO told me that she has shelled out as much as $400 for Rolling Stones tickets and would gladly give Paul and Artie $200 for the pleasure of two hours of their company.

In the end, I don't think that I missed much. From what the reviews tell me, a good time was had by all. Not a rocking time or an especially moving time, but a good time. They covered all the old standards the standard way. Paul discarded his 100-piece world music band and his new interpretations of classics such as I am A Rock and the two old rockers rocked out gracefully. The crowds were gentle (not even a little bit raucous like the crowd for a Bangles reunion) and, not surprisingly, full of balding baby boomers and their offspring. And I, with my old vinyls, fared just fine sitting at home while the cat ran circles around the room as if he could sense the anxiety of the 1960s emanating from the music. (Fine, my cat is just plain crazy all the time.)

Gift Idea

Not sure what to get that finicky person for the holidays this year?

Well, look no more!

Presenting the George W. Bush Aviator Action Figure!

Insipid

This just in. Phooeyhoo is tired of people misusing the word "insipid." The last straw was hearing dumb people on television repeatedly misusing it. This must go on no longer.

Insipid does not mean any of the following: hostile, evil, irascible, or lascivious. It means lacking flavor or lacking qualities that excite (read: dull, banal).

So unless you think that Susanne Somers is the most boring person on earth, saying, "Susanne's Three's Companies costars thought that she was an insipid bitch," is incorrect. "J. Howard Marshall gave into his insipid desires when he married Anna Nicole Smith," is also wrong.

However, "John's turkey tasted like an insipid pile of shit after he smeared shit over it and stuck it in the oven for 20 hours," or, "After five hours of vapid conversation, Mom finally bashed the insipid bastard's skull with a meat mallet while humming the pussycat song," are both correct usages.

Now, go into the world and misuse no longer!

Kitty Litter Cake

As a salute to Blog's investigation into cats with hats, Phooeyhoo gives you a recipe for Kitty Litter Cake.

Another Day Another Lawsuite

Un-phased by the bad press that they received after suing a 12 year old, the RIAA is continuing its attack against file sharers. This time, it's a 15 year old who has their ire. Or rather, her parents — who will probably be the one's to fork over the $3500 to settle.

On the bright side, you can say that the family is only losing about $2000 if they don't follow the RIAA's orders to delete all of the 1100 songs that were downloaded. The way Phooeyhoo figures it, at an average of 15 songs per album and $20 per album, that's 1100 songs / 15 songs per album = 73 1/3 albums * $20 = $1466 that they would have paid for the actual songs.

Those of you worried that the RIAA is going to get on your ass next can relax because evidently they've unveiled an amnesty program by which you can admit that you've downloaded and shared files. By promising never to do it again and deleting every song that you've downloaded, you are granted amnesty from any lawsuit filed against you for any files that you downloaded before filing for amnesty. But woe to those who get caught sharing after applying for amnesty.

Elephants

I'm too busy to rant today so instead, here is a disturbing Flash of elephants and Pavarotti.

WTF? Snow in Portland in November?

Blog has just posted that it is snowing in Portland. Meanwhile, in the jewel of the Midwest it's 60 degrees and clear. What kind of world do we live in when the blond bitch on Channel 6 is preparing to go outside with her wooden ruler while Phooeyhoo has to open all of his windows at night because the heat is on too high?

What the fuck am I talking about — I hate the cold! Huzzah!

What About Other Sports?

This article about the Tampa Bay Buccaneers makes me wonder if the media unjustly pokes fun at everything the Blazers do. I hadn't heard anything about the problems surrounding Tampa Bay players until reading the article.

Then again, Tampa Bay did win the superbowl. Would people be talking differently about the Blazers if they hadn't snatched defeat from the jaws of victory during the last eight minutes of Game 7 in 2000? Would they be the lovable Marion Barry of the NBA?

I Love the Blazers

I grew up on a west coast town that was 180 miles removed from the closest baseball team. And that team sucked it up big time during my youth. Its two biggest stars were Alvin Davis and Harold Reynolds. So I say to those of you in Seattle, if you think you have it bad now — you weren't around in the late 80s. Hell, Mike Cameron could have been a superstar on those old Mariner teams. But I digress.

Those of us in Portland had to settle on watching a bunch of guys try to throw a ball into a basket. (And I'm not talking Korfball here.) Our team consisted of such good guys as Danny Young and Mark Bryant. The latter once visited my middle school where he said something that I don't remember. Honestly, would you remember something said by someone who averaged 2.9 points per game? I didn't think so. And although we never made it to the promised land, we came tantalizingly close.

But now Portlanders are missing the good ol' days of Rip City because of the new thugs that we've brought into town.

Well, to the good people of Portland I say this — suck it up and enjoy the ride. This is more entertainment then most small franchises are deserving. Even from the jewel of the Midwest, far removed from the delicious beverages of the Deschutes Brewery, Phooeyhoo follows the team and they don't disappoint. I dare any reality show to match this. (Are you listening Paul Allen? You've got a prime time blockbuster hit on your hands and you don't even know it. While you're spending $100 million dollars on this team you might as well try to make money off of them. And even Lord Torgamous knows that you ain't gonna do that selling tickets. Coming soon to TechTV: Joe Blazer the Reality Show.)

For example, just last week when Oregon newspapers were declaring a new mindset for the team after a come from behind victory against Sacramento, Phooeyhoo wasn't fooled. Oh, no. His team wasn't going to disappoint him by getting all lovey-lovey.

And sure enough, after an ugly loss in NOLA, Bonzi Wells decides to curse out Mo Cheeks (Honestly, I don't know which is worst. Having to coach the Blazers or having your nickname be Mo Cheeks. "Mo mustard, hon?" "No, ma'am. MO Cheeks!!!") in Big D. The fact that the rest of the team collapsed and lost should be a shock to nobody.

So as George Carlin must have once advised, sit back and enjoy the ride. I think this team has only gotten to the tip of the iceberg. This year's team could make last year's sucker punch incidents seem like day care. Do I smell sabotaging the team bus or planting weed on someone? (Sorry, Damen. I didn't know a 4th offense would land you a $5 fine!) Maybe some sulfur bombs in the locker room? Or how about the ol' switch-the-toothpaste-with-the-Bengay gag? The possibilities are endless. So I say enjoy the ride now cause you know pretty soon the new guys in charge are actually going to get off their asses and bring in a couple of Danny Youngs and Mark Bryants. At least now we suck and we're entertaining!

Lesson of the Day

Phooeyhoo presents to you today's lesson of the day.

"No good deed ever goes unpunished."

Let this be a lesson unto us all. What have we learned from this? "Never try . . ."

As Promised

As promised from last week, more masturbation jokes. It's a series of 5 comics so don't stop with just the first one.

A Firm Hand on the Matter.

A Surreal Scene

They just played "Who Let the Dogs Out" on CNN.

Sigh.

Green Eggs and Spam

In a recent article, John Dvorak claims that Spam reveals all and that it offers a unique look at our social trends.

Phooeyhoo was so tired of all the spam that he got as Network Administrator for a Midwestern Foundation that he learned Visual Basic just to write his own spam filter for his e-mail server. It's a growing filter because new keywords have to filtered out each time a spammer gets clever. In the beginning, filtering out for "young hot pussy" would catch just about all of your porno spam. But these days the spammers are getting smart with "y0ung", "d1ck", "bl0w j0b", and other words that they can substitute numbers in.

Phooeyhoo then realized how large his list has gotten. Here's just a small subset of that list:

porn ^ porn ^ porn^hardcore^Penis^pussy^limited time^in bed^money back^jackpot^FORECLOSURE^Viagra^Horny^Sluts^Refinance Now^Adult Offers^xxx^Ca$h^ Cum ^webcam^Earn up to^Matchbox Cars^azoogle^donald duck^junk email^your opinion could be worth^are you a homeowner^join for free^never pay for tv^free trial offer^daughter with mother^download yours today^gift for you^misbehaving^vinarol^get laid^work full time^earning your degree^debt reduction^*second notice*^xenical^claim your free^everyone is approved^you'll be huge^priceless!^f r e e^you've been approved^best price guaranteed^cheaptrips^zero cost^buried in bills^anxious father^breast size^liquidation special^protect your^lose weight^no health insurance?^do you have what it takes^arousal^pc check up^no problem!^bad credit^instant winner^unlimited access^free long distance^cool gadget^fuckable^fuck^unclaimed funds notification^son with mother^really scared girls^save big $^best photos!!!^f_r_e_e^ business opportunity^gerls^screaming loud^slut^penn1s^pen1s^dollar-savers^erase your debt^personal domain names^weight loss^sister and brother

Phooeyhoo finds it strange that there now exists a list with both the elements "donald duck" and "son with mother."

But seriously, Phooeyhoo doesn't know what these law makers are thinking down in Washington. They understand that spam is a problem and are trying to draft bills which is all fine and good but I don't think anyone has sat down with them to explain the technical challenges of filtering out all the spam in the world — let alone trying to track down and fine everyone who sends it out. Here are some things they obviously haven't considered.

Any putz with half-a-brain can set up his own e-mail server and start anonymously sending out SPAM. Finding e-mail addresses to spam isn't all that hard, either. All you have to do is have a robot scour the Internet (Google makes it even easier!) for them. Bingo. You have a spam list! Hotmail, Yahoo and other e-mail services are finally wising up and making it harder for spammers to sign up for e-mail addresses by enabling a Turing Test. The Turing Test was named after British computer scientist Alan Turing as a test for whether or not a computer could be deemed "intelligent." Turing claimed that if a human tester were to ask questions to a computer and another human behind a closed curtain and the human tester could not distinguish them through questioning, then it was reasonable to assume that the computer was intelligent. In this case, the Turing Test enabled by Yahoo is a line of text that is garbled either by filtering it through an image or blurring it out so that a human can easily reproduce the text but a computer OCR cannot recognize it. This is a step in the right direction but (1) it should have been implemented earlier when spammers were still trying this route and (2) spammers are turning to other sources to send out their spam.

Spammers can easily setup their e-mail servers to broadcast from different IP addresses. One of the filters that I set on my server filters out known IP Addresses, IP C Classes, and HostDNS names of known spammers. (I also append to this list when someone sends me a piece of spam that has gotten through my filter.) Let me explain the differences between these three items. An IP address is obviously the unique number that you are assigned when you access the Internet. Anyone accessing the Internet must have a public IP address whether you have a direct DSL connection to the Internet or even if you are surfing through a server behind a firewall. (Although the firewall is superior because it usually broadcasts a useless IP address that no one can hack, if the firewall is worth its salt.) Most spammers are smart and will purchase a C class of IP addresses. That is, instead of just broadcasting their spam from, say, 128.90.1.5 — they will broadcast it from 128.90.1.1 - 128.90.1.255. Each digit in an IP address can range from 0 - 255 (with some notable exceptions that I won't go into here). Needless to say, most spam filters only filter out one IP address at a time and it is time consuming (and not efficient) to filter out for an entire C class. (My home-made SPAM filter does! - nah, nah, nah, nah, nah!) But the problem is that there are so many combinations that spammers can just jump around from C class to C class. Lastly, there are HostDNS names that we can use to filter out spam via the many blacklist filters out there. Same problem, though. Spammers can jump to another C class where the HostDNS is not recognized by a blacklist server. So as a filterer of spam, no matter how many HostDNS's and IP addresses and Class C addresses that I filter out, I always get new spam eventually from a spammer who gets a new Class C that no one has ever heard of.

Falsely registering an e-mail address is even easier. The IP address is hard coded into an e-mail, so it is always correct. However, you, right now, could send an e-mail and make it look like it came from the President of the University of Chicago. I won't tell you how to do it, just trust me that anyone with an Internet connection and Outlook can do it. Most people will be too stupid to look at the Internet Headers (heck, most people don't even know what an Internet Header of an e-mail address looks like or where to find it.) to see that the e-mail did not originate from the University of Chicago. (Although a smart spammer could spoof even this.)

Most of the damage being caused is due to STUPID E-MAIL ADMINISTRATORS THAT LEAVE THEIR SMTP SERVERS EXPOSED. I'll try to keep this bullet item simple. (NOT) There are many ways that you can retrieve e-mail. You may have heard of the following protocols: HTTP, POP3, and IMAP. If you're checking your e-mail using the web or using hotmail you are using HTTP. If you are checking it via Pine then you are using IMAP. If you're downloading your e-mails to Outlook or Eudora you are most likely using POP3. Now, when you send mail out to people then 99.9% of the time you are using something called SMTP. Almost no one can escape it. Even if you're using something as sophisticated (and cumbersome, I might add) as an Exchange Server, then you STILL MUST USE SMTP TO SEND OUT MAIL. Now, this SMTP server must be EXPOSED TO THE INTERNET for it to send mail out to other users on the Internet. And if you don't PASSWORD PROTECT OR (BETTER!) SSL ENCRYPT this server — guess what? Any spammer with half a brain can SEND OFF of this SMTP server so any spam that he sends will look like IT WAS SENT FROM YOUR SERVER. There are so many unprotected SMTP servers out there that it makes Phooeyhoo's head hurt. It is this type of opprobrious conduct that makes Phooeyhoo want to rip these people's lungs out. Phooeyhoo gets countless numbers of spam each day because somebody from the I Want to Be Fucked up the Ass Foundation didn't bother to spend the 5 seconds necessary to password protect their SMTP server. OK, end of rant.

The battle rages on. How is Congress proposing to legislate this? Well, funny you asked. The big anti-spam bills (let's forget about the really stupid legislation from folks like Orin Hatch who think that they can send viruses to blow up the computers of spammers and file sharers. It ain't going to happen.) floating around suggest that we (1) tax e-mail, (2) outlaw using false e-mail headers, and (3) change the technology behind e-mail entirely. (Guess which one Microsoft is supporting and which one they're willing to help develop the technology for? Something tells me that if they help develop the technology, it ain't going to be public domain software.)

Let's examine the problems with these solutions.

(1) Tax e-mail? Congress is about to pass a bill to outlaw taxing Internet access for all of eternity. How are they going to pass a bill to tax e-mail? Seriously, if you can disabuse me of my opinion on this, please do so. Right now, I don't know how it's going to happen.

(2) Hello? Didn't I just say that it is horrendously easy to spoof an e-mail address? Furthermore, the spammer could be sending off an UNPROTECTED SMTP SERVER. Then the fine will probably just go to the stupid company with the unprotected server — not the spammer. Actually, come to think of it, this would be a good idea. Fine anyone with an unprotected SMTP server. I really like that idea!

(3) Here's the thing that I don't think people understand. We're still using protocols that were developed in the 1970s. (Yes, e-mail was around even then. It's just that only Cal-Tech and MIT folks were using it to speak in Partial Differential Equation Geek Speak.) These protocols are used because they take little computation time. Hence, they're fast and efficient. Every e-mail server uses them now. How many e-mail servers are there out there now? And you're going to try to change the entire system how? Most people are not going to like the extra charges of changing to a system that only 5% of administrators are going to initially adopt. This seems to me like a problem 10 times larger than the analog versus digital television debate.

If you somehow managed to read through all of that crap, then I have to congratulate you. I would have stopped after the first few paragraphs. Does Phooeyhoo have an answer to ameliorate the system? Hell, no. But, hopefully, the above has shown that this is a much thornier and trickier issue then anyone realizes. If anyone has solutions, Phooeyhoo would like to hear them. Perhaps others more versed in the laws and legislation of our country can better to speak to this. Tomorrow, we'll go back to our regularly scheduled programming of masturbation jokes.

Posted by phooeyhoo at 10:56 PM | Comments (2) | Technobabble

Pontificating on the Web

Phooeyhoo's friends Flog and Blog have been pontificating about the merits (or lack thereof) of a lawsuite against the publisher of Grand Theft Auto.

Flog says enough interesting things about the case that Phooeyhoo doesn't have to sound like an idiot expounding on laws that he has no ideas about.

Phooeyhoo will only say that the 80s mock-music in Grand Theft Auto 3 was amazingly accurate and reminisce about the old days when web logs were content merely to bloviate over such matters.

Mr. Phooeyhoo Goes to Washington

Just got into our lovely nation's capital. It's cold and raining and for a brief second I thought I had hopped the wrong flight to Portland.

Funding must be severely limited at airports now because they don't have the guys with the rags on a stick swabbing down your baggage anymore. Thankfully, my shoes were considered enough of a terrorist hazard for me to be pulled behind — a rope! That'll keep me from harassing anyone. There I stood for ten minutes until somebody remembered me, gave me the once through with the magic wand, and sent me on my way. I was not the only one deemed a hazard, though. My fellow detainees included a lady who had been around since the age of Napolean, a sinewy chap with a beret and a cheerleader.

Upon getting to the gate I was told that the flight was overbooked. Turns out a Canadian orchestra was on this flight and cellos need their own seats. I must have thought about it for too long because before I realized that a free roundtrip ticket was worth being a few hours late to the conference registration, old Jewish lady and extremely tall guy had beaten me to the punch. Oh, well.

My one hour 40 minute flight would not be spent in total boredom because I got to spend most of it talking to Old Woman Who Works for the Judiciary, although she couldn't tell me exactly what she did. Despite learning nothing about what she did, she did divulge me with her itinerary for the next month.

Haven't seen much of DC but should probably take in a few museums before the dreary conference dinner tonight. Maybe this time they'll spring for the lobster stuffed with taco.

Math + Comedy = Fun

I knew there was a reason I really liked Futurama. Most of the staff had advanced degrees in math and physics which explains such things as the aleph-null theater and Professor Farnsworth's string theory dog.

Thankfully, someone has already written a paper on the Mathematics of Futurama (warning! — PDF file), so phooeyhoo doesn't have to.

Goats

Many of you (okay, two of you) have asked me about the goats that randomly appear on the main Phooeyhoo page. Although I sometimes have weird dreams where I run around the world as an inquisitive photographer like Tintin (although he was a journalist, come to think of it), my actual experience with photography goes no further than being able to pick up a digital camera and push the little button that makes it go, "click."

Credit for the goats (and the other photographs on the main page, excluding the two men holding butter) goes to my good friend Andrew Bliss who is probably somewhere in Antarctica right now. You can view more of his photographs on his website. They're really quite extraordinary, especially those of Antarctica and the Juneau icefields.

In case you're interested, a bigger picture of the goats can be found in the Olympic National Park portion of his website.

Something Positive

If jokes about Mormons and masturbation disturb you then you're on the wrong web log.

Otherwise, check out Something Positive.

Why Internet Exploder Sucks Ass

There was a time when I thought that Internet Explorer was the best web browser available despite Microsoft's influence. I'm glad to say that it now blows goats. This honor of best browser now safely goes to Mozilla's Firebird browser. (Mozilla is nice too but I like Firebird's small fingerprint.) Don't believe me? You have to try it for yourself.

Here's why Firebird beats the pants out of IE:

Tabbed browsing. Once you start, you'll never go back.

Built in pop-up window blocking. Why pay $30 when it's built into the browser?

This one is of a personal nature. Firebird correctly displays the comments page on this web log. IE doesn't.

Spyware. When I was running IE, Ad-aware routinely detected 20 new spyware programs per day. Running Firebird, that number goes to 0. You don't have to understand limits to like that. (If you've been using Internet Explorer or Kazaa be sure to download and run Ad-aware right away. You're not going to like what it finds . . .)

This is a minor one but Firebird correctly displays a web page's icon in the address bar. When will Microsoft fix this? Never comes to mind . . .

View selection source. Programmers rejoice!

All text (even those with fixed pixel sizes) can be zoomed in on.

CSS generated content. Excuse me while I shout, "Yeaaaah!" a few times and run around the room.

Themes. Make your browser as pretty as you'd like.

Giant lizards are cool. A big spinning "e" is not. It reminds me of those stupid unstable e's from French class.

So do yourself a big favor and switch browsers. Or at least try it for a few days and see what you think. Still don't trust me? Then check out this and this.

Posted by phooeyhoo at 9:35 PM | Comments (0) | Technobabble

Just What the World Doesn't Need . . .

Going against everything that phooeyhoo.com believes in, we're jumping on the blogging wagon. Obviously, this can only lead to (a) death, (b) death, or (c) a combination thereof. But as Blog pointed out to me, we live in a strange world where soon every man, woman, and pet on the planet will have one.

Then the words of Dusty Baker came to us: "Why not us?" We have to heed Dusty because even though he didn't take us to the promised land, he took us five outs away from it.

First Post

The very first post. Ha! You win again, gravity!